So I lost 0.6 today at WI. 5.8 lbs total loss. Should have been more of a loss but I let myself go over points later in the week mostly due to work stress.
I shouldn't let work get to me so much. Thing is I always saw myself as a career kind of girl. I'm realizing now I'm really just stuck in a job as opposed to a career with nowhere to go. I'm wishing I could do better for myself but I don't know what the right career is. I also can't help feeling I'm too old to make major changes. Really are student loans a good thing to start at age 40?
I always knew I wouldn't have kids somehow and in a way I'm even surprised (pleasantly so) that I'm married. I figured this would free me up to really make something of my life career wise. I feel as clueless as most high school seniors do but without youth on my side.
I hope I find a rewarding career path for myself someday soon. If not I hope I can learn to be okay with just being my clueless self.
I'm hoping as I find my best body under all this fat I'll also find my true desires and abilities. Time will tell.
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Saturday, June 20, 2009
I got a Star today!
My first 5 lb star since rejoining WW. So I've lost 5.2 lbs in 2 weeks. Not bad. I try not to think about how far I have to go. I hope to be at goal by May of 2010 which is when I'm aiming for DH and I to be rid of all debt besides mortgage (with some savings although not as much as I'd like).
Although both goals are different they both require sacrificing immediate gratification to live better in the long term. I need to avoid buying unneccessary things (wants versus needs) as well as avoid eating things that I don' t need. I've learned that I can be much more active on much less food. Even if I do get a little hungry it isn't the end of the world. It's slightly uncomfortable as is being tired but I survive. I wouldn't let it get to the point where I'm shaky but I don't pass out or become unable to function when I'm hungry. I'm " just hungry" like being "just tired". Life goes on...
Although both goals are different they both require sacrificing immediate gratification to live better in the long term. I need to avoid buying unneccessary things (wants versus needs) as well as avoid eating things that I don' t need. I've learned that I can be much more active on much less food. Even if I do get a little hungry it isn't the end of the world. It's slightly uncomfortable as is being tired but I survive. I wouldn't let it get to the point where I'm shaky but I don't pass out or become unable to function when I'm hungry. I'm " just hungry" like being "just tired". Life goes on...
Thursday, June 18, 2009
I've been drowning but I think I found something to grab onto
So...I've been living in a personal hell for a while now.
Work is a whole set of problems but I guess I'm lucky I still have a job in this economy. DH has to take 42K out of his 401K to sell his house. That sucks but I guess the good thing is that we are living in our dream home/neighborhood now. We were able to put 20% down and lock in a rate of 4.25% so I guess that makes up for what we are dealing with on the selling side. The amount of foreclosures in the area we are selling has really driven down the prices.
It's funny that I feel thin at the weight that I am now. I think I lost another 1-2 lbs this week. Will know for sure on Saturday. As much as the rest of life can get so out of control I still really can control what I eat and gain physical/emotional strength from the exercise I do.
DH and I tend to bicker about financial concerns. We need to stop that.
I had more to say but I'm exhausted and have to get up at 5 AM for work. I guess the important part is that getting control of my health will help me deal with my life.
I'll hopefully post more over the weekend.
Work is a whole set of problems but I guess I'm lucky I still have a job in this economy. DH has to take 42K out of his 401K to sell his house. That sucks but I guess the good thing is that we are living in our dream home/neighborhood now. We were able to put 20% down and lock in a rate of 4.25% so I guess that makes up for what we are dealing with on the selling side. The amount of foreclosures in the area we are selling has really driven down the prices.
It's funny that I feel thin at the weight that I am now. I think I lost another 1-2 lbs this week. Will know for sure on Saturday. As much as the rest of life can get so out of control I still really can control what I eat and gain physical/emotional strength from the exercise I do.
DH and I tend to bicker about financial concerns. We need to stop that.
I had more to say but I'm exhausted and have to get up at 5 AM for work. I guess the important part is that getting control of my health will help me deal with my life.
I'll hopefully post more over the weekend.
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Not sure where to start...I've journaled before but never written anything for the world to see.
Okay so here goes...I'm on a mission to lose 50 lbs with Weight Watchers. 50 lbs for me is a long shot. It's somewhat low in my healthy weight range. I just like the number 50 and in my first meeting on 6/6/09 I watched someone get recognized for losing 50 lbs with a magnet or whatever she got. Silly as those little things are they work for me. I wanted to be that person with the 50 lb weight loss and I wanted that damn magnet.
This week I lost 3.2 lbs. I wasn't 100% OP. I was way better with snacking. Mostly because my job moved me to a new crazy office 3 days a week. I work my ass off and either have no time to eat or I'm too nervous to do so. I have mixed feelings about the new office. Love the new co-workers and the setting is so much more professional but I have a nasty commute - 23 miles each way during rush hour. I was also told I had to do this instead of being asked. No compensation of any sort despite me spending more money on gas and more of my time. Nice way to be treated after 14 years of dedicated service.
Anyway back to Weight Watchers. Now that I've managed snacking I have to learn how to control restaurants and wine drinking. Really even from a financial standpoint we shouldn't be eating out so much. From a health standpoint I need to learn how to follow the Weight Watchers healthy guideline that states that a woman should only have one alcoholic beverage a day. Wine and restaurants relax me. Sadly nothing else does as much. I need a way to relax that is not related to food and/or drinking.
I took a dance class today with an instructor that told me directly that he's seen I've gained weight. I've taken classes with him for 2 and a half years. Honestly I think I move quite well for someone my size (currently 5'4" and 173.8 lbs). It's hard to have the confidence to dance in a class where the instructor has already made notice of my size being unhealthily overweight. I've switched from the front row to the second and switched to the side of the room where I can make a beeline for the door after class and therefore can't be addressed by any instructor anymore. The opinions of others should not affect me as much as they do but I guess I've always been sensitive.
Well I said enough for someone who didn't know how to start. Must try to get some sleep soon for another crazy work week.
Okay so here goes...I'm on a mission to lose 50 lbs with Weight Watchers. 50 lbs for me is a long shot. It's somewhat low in my healthy weight range. I just like the number 50 and in my first meeting on 6/6/09 I watched someone get recognized for losing 50 lbs with a magnet or whatever she got. Silly as those little things are they work for me. I wanted to be that person with the 50 lb weight loss and I wanted that damn magnet.
This week I lost 3.2 lbs. I wasn't 100% OP. I was way better with snacking. Mostly because my job moved me to a new crazy office 3 days a week. I work my ass off and either have no time to eat or I'm too nervous to do so. I have mixed feelings about the new office. Love the new co-workers and the setting is so much more professional but I have a nasty commute - 23 miles each way during rush hour. I was also told I had to do this instead of being asked. No compensation of any sort despite me spending more money on gas and more of my time. Nice way to be treated after 14 years of dedicated service.
Anyway back to Weight Watchers. Now that I've managed snacking I have to learn how to control restaurants and wine drinking. Really even from a financial standpoint we shouldn't be eating out so much. From a health standpoint I need to learn how to follow the Weight Watchers healthy guideline that states that a woman should only have one alcoholic beverage a day. Wine and restaurants relax me. Sadly nothing else does as much. I need a way to relax that is not related to food and/or drinking.
I took a dance class today with an instructor that told me directly that he's seen I've gained weight. I've taken classes with him for 2 and a half years. Honestly I think I move quite well for someone my size (currently 5'4" and 173.8 lbs). It's hard to have the confidence to dance in a class where the instructor has already made notice of my size being unhealthily overweight. I've switched from the front row to the second and switched to the side of the room where I can make a beeline for the door after class and therefore can't be addressed by any instructor anymore. The opinions of others should not affect me as much as they do but I guess I've always been sensitive.
Well I said enough for someone who didn't know how to start. Must try to get some sleep soon for another crazy work week.
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